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Finished a fairly solid first-round-edit of my new play today. I had an emergency reading dinner with some really wonderful actor friends who rendered their opinion on very short notice, and it was incredibly useful. The plot of this piece involves a fairly complex series of actions, which I wanted feedback on the logic of, as well as whether or not the emotional arcs read and were genuine. I mostly achieved what I wanted, and in the ways it didn't quite work the suggestions and responses I got were very helpful. I spent today applying those edits, and I'm pretty happy with the result. Not bad for a week's work!

As I mention, I'm waiting a bit before I widely say what the piece was. But it had a couple of demands specific to this particular project, including issues of context and whether or not certain subtle things were delivered clearly. I also really wanted was a balance of drama and emotional weight with moments of genuine levity and humor. The reading last night seemed to demonstrate that I achieved that, and I think I managed to incorporate my readers' suggestions effectively.

This piece could definitely use a subplot. It's... maybe ten pages shorter than it should be. One thing I have a consistent tendency towards is making the plot barrel forward full speed ahead. I'm not very good at adding in those little somewhat divergent threads that seem to tell a separate story, but which actually supports and reveals the overall themes of the piece. My way has the advantage of the fact that it usually indicates highly active characters who are taking steps and making things happen to achieve their goals, which tends to make for better drama. But at the same time, it can have the downside of pacing problems, and a lack of dimension and complexity. I had the same trouble when I was working on Mrs. Loring, and honestly, I never really resolved it in that one. At least for the first draft of this newest, I suppose it will do, but I wouldn't mind thinking of something else I can include just to get it up to length.

It probably needs more tweaking. I did write it in a week. But at the moment I am a bit burnt out on it. I will need more distance before I think I will be able to effectively bring it to the next level. Still, I think it's good enough for what I want it to do at the moment...


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Dec. 20th, 2013 12:26 am (UTC)
Congratulations! I'm so excited!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

About Me

My name is Phoebe. I'm Boston area theater professional and English professor focused in writing, acting, directing, and modeling. I'm known for having lots of interests, lots of opinions about those interests, and a very high estimation of the value thereof. This blog is for talking about whatever's on my mind, from my daily life to my activities to musing on any number of abstract topics. Thanks for taking the time to read.

My productions:

Upcoming Productions:

MRS. HAWKING part 2 and 3

at the Watch City Steampunk Festival 2016

presented by The Chameleon's Dish

Vivat Regina
by Phoebe Roberts

at 2PM


Base Instruments
by Phoebe Roberts

at 6PM

Saturday, May 13th 2017
at 274 Moody Street, Waltham, MA

Other Achievements:

"The Tailor at Loring's End" screenplay
Quarter Finalist in the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Competition 2013

"Adonis" screenplay
Top Ten Percent in the Bluecat Screenwriting Contest 2015

Latest Month

April 2017

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