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Damn stupid brain

It's been a rough couple of days. I feel damn lousy, and I've gotten almost nothing done. I am reminded at how damn screwed up my ability to focus is and it pisses me off. I get a fair bit done, but my inability to buckle down to things for long periods means I could be getting so much more done and I don't. I hate it. I blame my stupid Smart phone and related implements; I believe they've optimized my brain to process many short things very quickly. I notice my ability to multitask and speed of thought has never been greater. I can read and have a conversation at the same time with minimal loss of absorption. So mental sprints are stronger than ever. But if it's for a long haul, I'm next to useless. I haven't read a book in I don't know how long because I can't concentrate on anything longer than a few pages. When I sit down to work it takes me ages to get into it; I waste so much time screwing around. It makes me so angry.

Sometimes I think I'd be so much better off if I threw my phone away. Disconnected my computer from the Internet. But I'm so damn addicted at this point it's like going through detox, and I'm sure it would end up making other things in my life harder if I actually got rid of it. And what would I do if I didn't have my precious phone to distract me from the social situations which I am increasingly disliking? I've felt incredibly antisocial lately, both for incidental interaction and regarding friends. I just want to hide from everybody lately.

Bitch, bitch, bitch. Why don't you write something productive, bitch? Instead of wasting your time for once.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 9th, 2014 03:10 am (UTC)
Man, do I sympathize with every single line of this. I hate everything and I want to sit in a box and be alone.
Feb. 9th, 2014 06:58 pm (UTC)
I am sorry to hear that you are frustrated and sad :(. I have also had a difficult few days.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

About Me

My name is Phoebe. I'm Boston area theater professional and English professor focused in writing, acting, directing, and modeling. I'm known for having lots of interests, lots of opinions about those interests, and a very high estimation of the value thereof. This blog is for talking about whatever's on my mind, from my daily life to my activities to musing on any number of abstract topics. Thanks for taking the time to read.

My productions:

Upcoming Productions:

MRS. HAWKING part 2 and 3

at the Watch City Steampunk Festival 2016

presented by The Chameleon's Dish

Vivat Regina
by Phoebe Roberts

at 2PM


Base Instruments
by Phoebe Roberts

at 6PM

Saturday, May 13th 2017
at 274 Moody Street, Waltham, MA

Other Achievements:

"The Tailor at Loring's End" screenplay
Quarter Finalist in the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Competition 2013

"Adonis" screenplay
Top Ten Percent in the Bluecat Screenwriting Contest 2015

Latest Month

April 2017


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