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State of the meatsack

I’ve been investing a lot of effort lately into working up the old mortal shell through which God would have me experience His creation. I am probably a little too wrapped up in my own vanity, but I also care about keeping myself healthy and in shape. It makes me feel really good to look pretty and feel strong, so though it adds a fair number of extra responsibilities to my list, for me it acts as a form of self-care.

I’m in my fourth week of my current diet and exercise regimen. It’s a low-carb, no-processed-sugar plan, focused on protein and vegetables, with one cheat meal a week. It’s actually been easier to stick to than I thought, as most of the things I like to eat fall under it. I’ve been eating a lot of meat, eggs, yogurt, fruit, vegetables, and nuts. I miss Coke, my favorite vice, and bread, but not as much as I thought I would. The weekly cheat meal, which can be anything I want, makes it a lot easier. The only thing I don’t like about it is that I rarely feel totally satisfied. My body feels strong and energetic, but I feel like I just want to eat constantly, even when I’m not really hungry. I wonder if that’s something that will go away as my body adjusts to the lack of easily processed energy, or if it’s just a feature of eating this way.

The exercise plan alternates an ab-focused routine with cardio, six days a week, with the seventh being for rest. Ballet class is out for the summer, so I’m in charge of all of it on my own except for the one circuit workout I do a week with a trainer at a gym. It’s not easy, and some days I cringe at the thought of dragging my ass up to do it, but… I think it’s working. My goal, since I was like nineteen, has always been to have visibly defined abs, and this combination of diet and exercise has made them the best they’ve ever looked. In the right lighting, they actually look pretty good. 😊 I may have unreasonable expectations, but I’m hoping that there’s room for even more improvement.

I’m not really concerned with losing weight so much as increasing muscle definition, but I think getting rid of some subcutaneous layers are necessary to see the muscle underneath. In the course of my adult life, I’ve weighed between a hundred and five and a hundred and twenty-five pounds at various points, and frankly due to my mild body dysmorphia, I’ve never really been able to see any difference in how I looked. I always thought I looked basically the same, whether plus or minus those twenty or so pounds.

I bought a dress that I really like but was just a smidge too wide at the waist than I like, but I’m pretty good at taking dresses in by now, so I figured I’d just do that. I’ve found that if I put dresses on my dressform and tailor them so they’re skintight on her size 6, they fit just right on me. But I when I put it on Adelaide… it already WAS skintight. So I guess I have slimmed down. But I’m never able to perceive it except from outside evidence like that.

My skin is vastly, vastly improved, the nicest I’ve had since before college, other than a brief period where I was on a medication that cleared it up. I’ve finally got it down to routine to take care of it right every day, by washing it with an apricot scrub and applying moisturizer. It’s still not perfect, my pores tend to be pretty huge and I’ve got some scarring that will probably never go away, but I’m very happy my complexion is no longer a seething hellscape. I’m trying to add in a nighttime topical acne cream, but I haven’t managed to get it down to habit yet.

My hair is very long right now. Not intentionally, but it’s just grown out nicely enough that I haven’t felt a pressing need to spend money on a haircut. But I do think it’s the longest it’s been in years, which eventually leads it to it becoming too heavy and flat, and I do miss the dimension of having layers. So when I’m feeling up to paying for it, I’ll probably get it cut soon.

I’ve been lucky that I’ve always had nice teeth, but I drink a lot of tea, so lately I’ve been concerned that they were looking a little stained. I added in that Listerine whitening to my routine, and I think it’s demonstrated improvement. It’s always a fair bit of work for me to change my habits, but once I manage to do so, routine usually serves me well.

So I'm pretty pleased. I've made a lot of adjustments and I seem to be not only keeping to them, but making the most of them. I think I'm in the best health and shape I've ever been.

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( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 6th, 2015 03:30 pm (UTC)
(This is Jon S, I saw your link on facebook.)

What does an ab-focused routine consist of? I've largely ignored those so far but wouldn't mind mixing in a little more core into my training.
Jul. 7th, 2015 03:03 am (UTC)
For what I'm doing right now, it's bodyweight exercises geared toward working mostly the abdominal muscles, with a handful of other-part-targeting exercises as well, plus something to get the heart rate up. Like, planks, crunches, various balance ball moves, stuff like that.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

About Me

My name is Phoebe. I'm Boston area theater professional and English professor focused in writing, acting, directing, and modeling. I'm known for having lots of interests, lots of opinions about those interests, and a very high estimation of the value thereof. This blog is for talking about whatever's on my mind, from my daily life to my activities to musing on any number of abstract topics. Thanks for taking the time to read.

My productions:

Upcoming Productions:

MRS. HAWKING part 2 and 3

at the Watch City Steampunk Festival 2016

presented by The Chameleon's Dish

Vivat Regina
by Phoebe Roberts

at 2PM


Base Instruments
by Phoebe Roberts

at 6PM

Saturday, May 13th 2017
at 274 Moody Street, Waltham, MA

Other Achievements:

"The Tailor at Loring's End" screenplay
Quarter Finalist in the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Competition 2013

"Adonis" screenplay
Top Ten Percent in the Bluecat Screenwriting Contest 2015

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