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Moar Bojack fan fic. Again, no idea what the story is here. Not totally in agreement with yesterday's piece-- the best piece of which is the idea of Fay Ray as a '90s supermodel.

...I want to write a spec script. Anyone know Raphael Bob-Waksberg? HOOK ME UP. I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS.

Day #24 - Parental Approval
for Bojack Horseman
by Phoebe Roberts

BOJACK HORSEMAN, sitcom star
FAY RAY, weimaraner supermodel
CHRISTIE ZWICKY, a production assistant

Hollywood, California, 1988

BOJACK’s girlfriend FAY RAY sits reading a magazine in his dressing room. Bojack kicks the door open and flops down on the couch.

FAY RAY: What’s with you?

BOJACK: Well, I just found out I’m a terrible actor.

FAY RAY: Only just now?

BOJACK: You know, most people could probably count on either their girlfriend, OR their mother, OR their best friend to believe in them.

He reaches to grab a bottle off the bar cart, and cracks it open to chug it down.

FAY RAY: You didn’t used to drink so much.

BOJACK: Yeah, well, it makes it easier to forget about my family history of alcoholism. I don’t know what I was thinking, inviting my mom to the taping. I could be playing Hamlet in the Globe Theater in front of the Queen of England, and she’d still complain about how my existence isn’t worth the stretch marks it put on her stomach.

FAY RAY: I don’t care.

BOJACK: Guess it could have been worse. My dad didn’t even come.


BOJACK: Not that that would have helped things. God knows what he would have said. “Are you telling me your show’s about giving free charity to somebody else’s unwanted kids like some kind of communist? What kind of propaganda you pushing, boy?”

FAY RAY: You’re saying a lot of things right now.

BOJACK: I don’t know why I keep trying. I’m never going to impress them, and he’s never going to take an interest in me. He’s a crusty, bitter old jackass and I hope he gets hit by a truck.

A production assistant, CHRISTIE, pokes her head in.

CHRISTIE: Excuse me, Mr. Horseman? You have a phone call.

BOJACK: Tell them I’m drunk in a whorehouse.

CHRISTIE: Um, it’s your mom.

BOJACK: Oh, Jesus. In that case, tell her I’m drunk in a crack den.

CHRISTIE: Um, sorry, Mr. Horseman… but she says your dad died.

Bojack drops the bottle.

Posts from This Journal by “humor” Tag


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 25th, 2015 07:12 pm (UTC)
I pictured Fay Ray as a Manta Ray (ergo, impossibly thin) as per your joke in the last one.
Aug. 25th, 2015 07:51 pm (UTC)
Fay Ray is a real-life dog model, the subject of photographer William Wegman. :-) She is very thin though!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

About Me

My name is Phoebe. I'm Boston area theater professional and English professor focused in writing, acting, directing, and modeling. I'm known for having lots of interests, lots of opinions about those interests, and a very high estimation of the value thereof. This blog is for talking about whatever's on my mind, from my daily life to my activities to musing on any number of abstract topics. Thanks for taking the time to read.

My productions:

Upcoming Productions:

MRS. HAWKING part 2 and 3

at the Watch City Steampunk Festival 2016

presented by The Chameleon's Dish

Vivat Regina
by Phoebe Roberts

at 2PM


Base Instruments
by Phoebe Roberts

at 6PM

Saturday, May 13th 2017
at 274 Moody Street, Waltham, MA

Other Achievements:

"The Tailor at Loring's End" screenplay
Quarter Finalist in the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Competition 2013

"Adonis" screenplay
Top Ten Percent in the Bluecat Screenwriting Contest 2015

Latest Month

April 2017

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