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Hawk body, huntress body

Content note: body, diet talk

I am incredibly happy with how my diet and exercise plan has gone so far. My body is wicked fierce and strong right now, with something not too far off from the abs I’ve always dreamed of. I’m in week ten of the diet and week eight of the exercise, and as I’ve worked my way through it, I find a striking feeling of becoming more like myself, more like what I’m supposed to be. I enjoy that a lot.

My figure has always been relatively spare, but now more than ever. Even my thighs, the last refuge of where I carry weight, have slimmed down every so slightly. My breasts are perhaps the most greatly reduced, which isn’t my preferred place to lose weight, but I’m a bit surprised to find I don’t really miss them. I have never particularly liked the soft parts of me, so it pleases me to see them go away. It begins to make me think of how I’d always imagined Mrs. Hawking being built, all lean, ropey muscle, with minimal excess. Mrs. Hawking is of course a power fantasy for me, and part of that has been imagining a sort of body I’d feel powerful in, and for me, it’s that spare, flexible, athletic figure.

I’m quite blessed in that I have a body that responds to my attempts to change it when I want to. Every time I’ve wanted to be leaner, or faster, or stronger, or do something with it better, I could make it happen as long as I put in the effort. This, even more than being thin, is my body’s true privilege in the world. That ability means a lot to mean and I thank God for it.

But the fact that I can do it makes me wonder what else I could do. For example, thinking I’m becoming physically more like Mrs. Hawking’s imagined form makes me wonder about my other power fantasy character, Diana in Adonis. I always pictured her as a muscular Amazon, cut and strong. Could I do that if I wanted to? If I decided, could I put muscle on myself like that? Or is the only way I respond going to be to reduce, to be whittled down the way I have been? I wonder. Sometimes I wish I were more muscular, more defined, more physically powerful. Could I do that if I wanted? It’s interesting to think about.

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Nov. 5th, 2015 05:04 pm (UTC)
This is awesome

Rock on! :)
I love it that you mention being leaner, faster, stronger... I want to do that too now :)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

About Me

My name is Phoebe. I'm Boston area theater professional and English professor focused in writing, acting, directing, and modeling. I'm known for having lots of interests, lots of opinions about those interests, and a very high estimation of the value thereof. This blog is for talking about whatever's on my mind, from my daily life to my activities to musing on any number of abstract topics. Thanks for taking the time to read.

My productions:

Upcoming Productions:

MRS. HAWKING part 2 and 3

at the Watch City Steampunk Festival 2016

presented by The Chameleon's Dish

Vivat Regina
by Phoebe Roberts

at 2PM


Base Instruments
by Phoebe Roberts

at 6PM

Saturday, May 13th 2017
at 274 Moody Street, Waltham, MA

Other Achievements:

"The Tailor at Loring's End" screenplay
Quarter Finalist in the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Competition 2013

"Adonis" screenplay
Top Ten Percent in the Bluecat Screenwriting Contest 2015

Latest Month

April 2017


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