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The fog

I keep trying to write about something else, but there really isn't anything on my mind but how consistently down I've felt lately. I feel like an ass whining about it, given the terrible things going on in the world right now and the people who have much bigger problems than me-- I've been doing my best to listen rather than speak about that --but it's just overcoming me lately. It's been worse, I guess, but it's been so consistent. In the past several weeks I've had a number of breakdowns, but mostly I just feel so listless and generally unhappy. I'm not enjoying much of anything. Normally I am a very energetic, productive person, but right I can't seem to get anything done. Not chores, not the work that matters to me. Everything feels pointless, like it doesn't come to anything, so why even bother? I feel like I spend a lot of time and effort doing things I don't really care about, and when I kill myself getting the things I do care about done, they don't really come to anything, and I don't enjoy them as much as I hope I would.

I don't know what to do about it. Bernie thinks I should try to see somebody, but honestly I don't think it would make much difference. My experiences attempting that previously were... inoffensive, I supposed, but didn't really make a difference. On top of that, I have state insurance, which nobody takes, and I can't afford it out of pocket. I already know all the tricks to cope in the meantime, which get me through the day but don't take care of the problem. So there isn't really answer.

I guess I'm just whining. This is how it goes. But I'm so exhausted with feeling exhausted, and sad about feeling so sad.

Posts from This Journal by “melancholia” Tag

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About Me

My name is Phoebe. I'm Boston area theater professional and English professor focused in writing, acting, directing, and modeling. I'm known for having lots of interests, lots of opinions about those interests, and a very high estimation of the value thereof. This blog is for talking about whatever's on my mind, from my daily life to my activities to musing on any number of abstract topics. Thanks for taking the time to read.

My productions:

Upcoming Productions:

MRS. HAWKING part 2 and 3

at the Watch City Steampunk Festival 2016

presented by The Chameleon's Dish

Vivat Regina
by Phoebe Roberts

at 2PM


Base Instruments
by Phoebe Roberts

at 6PM

Saturday, May 13th 2017
at 274 Moody Street, Waltham, MA

Other Achievements:

"The Tailor at Loring's End" screenplay
Quarter Finalist in the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Competition 2013

"Adonis" screenplay
Top Ten Percent in the Bluecat Screenwriting Contest 2015

Latest Month

April 2017


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