Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

I don't know where these come from, but it's the third I've written in this vein for a 31P31D, after "Beloved Monster" and "Never Really Here". It's not really part of a larger project and it's kind of strange. Mostly just an exploration of longing, embodied by characters.

The Part of Me I Kept For You
By Phoebe Roberts


MAID: Every time I think of you these days, I get really sad.

BEAST: I’m sorry to say that’s not unusual.

MAID: It’s not like that. It’s not that piercing the way it used to be. But it’s strange. I thought that wound had healed.

BEAST: Well. I know I represent a difficult time in your life.

MAID: It was hard. Wanting you so badly for so long, when I knew I’d never have you.

BEAST: It’s why you’re relieved to have moved on.

MAID: Mostly. I mean, yeah. I was relieved. But… sorry to do it too.

BEAST: You had to. What choice did you have?

MAID: I know. It was healthy, it was ultimately better for my life. But… there was a part of me that loved you so much that it wanted to love you forever. No matter what that would cost.

BEAST: You shouldn’t dwell on that.


MAID: I really, really loved you.

BEAST: I know.

MAID: I don’t like talking about it. Probably most people would find it crazy.

BEAST: Not everybody.

MAID: No. But those people… I sometimes think it’s because they don’t really understand. How…how huge it was. You were… everything. My hero. My hope. My perfect person, my first love. A love beyond lust, and encompassing of it. Loved you, wanted you, admired you, ached for you. First thought when I woke up and last before I fell asleep. Sometimes you felt so close I thought that if I shut my eyes and reached out, I’d find you there.

BEAST: So huge the weight of it almost crushed you.

MAID: I know, I know. You don’t have to remind me how unhealthy it was.

BEAST: Then what? Do you… you don’t miss me, do you?

MAID: I don’t know.

BEAST: You have real things now. A real somebody, who loves you the way you always wanted me to. You shouldn’t miss what I was.

MAID: Of course not. But when I think of you… I get sad. Why should I be sad? Shouldn’t I be glad that you’re not this shadow on my life anymore? Why do you still feel so heavy?

BEAST: You feel badly that you lost so much time to me.

MAID: No. I don’t. I mean, maybe, I guess. But I don’t think that’s it.

BEAST: You don’t still love me. Not the way you did. You’ve healed from that.

MAID: Moved on, maybe… but lately it doesn’t feel like I healed. You said it— you were huge. So huge. Huge and fierce and burning. The wound closes, but the hole never fills. There is nothing in the world like it.

BEAST: You don’t have to feel badly about that. You love in a different way now. Maybe less… fiery, but no less huge.

MAID: I’ve come to terms with that. In fact… I’m almost glad.

BEAST: Glad of what?

MAID: That nothing ever compared to what I felt for you.


MAID: It makes it feel… less wasted. All that time and suffering. To know it was spent on the fiercest love I’ve ever known. That place is yours. That honor is yours.

BEAST: I don’t want to take anything more from you. You suffered enough for me.

MAID: I had to give you up. But… that’s for you. That’s something I kept for you. Maybe it’s crazy… but I want you to have it.

BEAST: I’m sorry that it makes you sad.

MAID: I couldn’t wait for you. But I could leave a part of me there behind.

Posts from This Journal by “my pieces” Tag

About Me

My name is Phoebe. I'm Boston area theater professional and English professor focused in writing, acting, directing, and modeling. I'm known for having lots of interests, lots of opinions about those interests, and a very high estimation of the value thereof. This blog is for talking about whatever's on my mind, from my daily life to my activities to musing on any number of abstract topics. Thanks for taking the time to read.

My productions:

Upcoming Productions:

MRS. HAWKING part 2 and 3

at the Watch City Steampunk Festival 2016

presented by The Chameleon's Dish

Vivat Regina
by Phoebe Roberts

at 2PM


Base Instruments
by Phoebe Roberts

at 6PM

Saturday, May 13th 2017
at 274 Moody Street, Waltham, MA

Other Achievements:

"The Tailor at Loring's End" screenplay
Quarter Finalist in the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Competition 2013

"Adonis" screenplay
Top Ten Percent in the Bluecat Screenwriting Contest 2015

Latest Month

April 2017


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by chasethestars