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Dragging myself out of the abyss

I plowed through an epic amount of work today. It was pretty grueling, but at least I can go into this weekend without stressing out about getting things done. I'm experimenting this semester with setting designated "work times" that I will always stick to. I utilize scheduling a fair bit, but I tend to schedule things whenever is convenient rather than sticking to "hours on" and "hours off." I'm trying it for a while to see if it helps me focus and not feeling like I constantly should be doing more work.

I am still pretty depressed, but I'm trying to push on through it. Today I went back to eating paleo and am fighting to not lapse back into being a sugar vacuum. I think I will at least physically feel a little better. As I've mentioned, the biggest issue is I'm not INTERESTED in anything I could be doing. I don't feel excited or get any pleasure from stuff I theoretically should want to pursue. I guess that's classic depression. But I don't know what to do about it, and it's become a real problem as I end up not working on anything because nothing seems worth it.

I've had a bee in my bonnet for ages now about doing little audio or video recordings of my thoughts. Maybe like journal entries, or maybe something more codified. I've been listening to podcasts a bit more lately and I guess it's given me the bug. I know every asshole thinks they can do a podcast, and I don't know if I any of the unique things I have to say would be at all interesting for people to listen to. So I keep stopping myself because it doesn't seem worth it. But the idea's been nagging at me, and it would be better than wasting my time not working on anything, so maybe I should just do it and not care if it's any good or if anybody cares about it.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
laurion
Sep. 23rd, 2016 02:36 pm (UTC)
Pretty sure most podcasters don't care if anybody cares about it. Something about not listening to the critics. Plus, if you put it out there, someone will listen to it, even if it is only you. I know you don't have a lot of breathing room at the moment, but if it is the only thing that you're expressing an interest or inspiration in, perhaps it can help. Maybe something small like writing some loose treatments of what you'd like to actually record when you get the breathing room for it.
laurion
Sep. 23rd, 2016 02:36 pm (UTC)
Although, you might be getting perilously close to radio theater style productions. ;)
breakinglight11
Sep. 23rd, 2016 03:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you, that's actually really helpful.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

About Me

My name is Phoebe. I'm Boston area theater professional and English professor focused in writing, acting, directing, and modeling. I'm known for having lots of interests, lots of opinions about those interests, and a very high estimation of the value thereof. This blog is for talking about whatever's on my mind, from my daily life to my activities to musing on any number of abstract topics. Thanks for taking the time to read.

My productions:

Upcoming Productions:



MRS. HAWKING part 2 and 3


at the Watch City Steampunk Festival 2016

presented by The Chameleon's Dish

Vivat Regina
by Phoebe Roberts

at 2PM

and

Base Instruments
by Phoebe Roberts

at 6PM

Saturday, May 13th 2017
at 274 Moody Street, Waltham, MA

Other Achievements:

"The Tailor at Loring's End" screenplay
Quarter Finalist in the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Competition 2013

"Adonis" screenplay
Top Ten Percent in the Bluecat Screenwriting Contest 2015

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